My Biggest Fears

Not even this shit.

Besides the obvious “my loved ones dying”, which is everyone’s biggest fear.

A lot of my fears started when I was a kid, from movies or books, and not even the things you’d think would scare a kid. Vampires, werewolves, ghosts and Freddy Kruger were scary, but nothing struck fear in my heart like things that actually exist.

Grizzly Bears

Bears are very cool animals, but dare I call them nature’s perfect killing machines? For some reason the idea of tigers and even sharks don’t affect me as much as the thought of being run down and mauled by a grizzly. Once one sees you and decides you’re its next meal, there’s no escaping it unless you have a weapon strong enough to take down this furry tank with fangs.

Did I mention you can’t escape them? They can run like a horse, swim and climb trees. The only thing they can’t do is fly. If they could, everything and everyone would be completely screwed. Ever since I read a book about bears when I was a kid, one of my darkest nightmares was coming face to face with a grizzly bear in the woods.


I get unreasonably nervous when stopped at a railroad crossing for a train to pass, especially if we’re the first car with only a flimsy gate between my car and a hurtling, 200 ton missile. Sometimes those gates don’t even work, and you could come around a curve blocked by some trees and not see the train coming that’s about to hit you. I know because this happened to me once.

I’m pretty sure the main root of this fear was from when I was a kid and watched “Fried Green Tomatoes”. Spoiler alert: Someone gets hit by a train.


Watching “Twister” when you’re 10 years old can be nightmare fuel, or at least it was for me for a very long time. I’ve never actually witnessed one myself in real life, but I’ve had numerous nightmares about them with different scenarios about how I can’t find shelter.

There was one time — in the real world while I was awake — where I was at the park playing with my friends and I had the weird, random feeling that I should go home. The sky was just kind of cloudy, with those skinny stringy clouds that go across the sky, but the sky wasn’t dark and didn’t look like a storm was coming at all. Minutes after I walked through the door, hell broke loose outside and the trees all bent sideways in the wind. It really looked like a tornado was happening. We ran to the basement and it went away as fast as it showed up. It turned out there was a funnel cloud in the sky that day, but it never touched down.

They can happen suddenly within seconds, get winds up to 300 mph, rip the skin off of a cow and put straw through a telephone pole. Nightmare fuel.

The Ocean

I’ve only been to the ocean once, and I wasn’t a big fan. The thought of being dragged out to sea, or being stranded out at sea is scary because it’s just. so. big. There are also big waves and scary things that live in it that can sneak up on you and drag you down where you will drown and get eaten. Actually I’m not the biggest fan of swimming in general. If I go to the beach or a pool, I usually don’t go under water, get in just long enough to get cooled off, and spend the rest of the time lounging in the sun.

If I could breathe underwater, it would be a totally different story. I don’t like the thought of not being able to breathe. That’s also why getting buried alive is one of those really scary things, although a lot less probable than getting hit by a train or caught in a tornado. At least, I hope.

I could have gone to Iceland…

My best friend and his brother are going on vacation to Iceland this year, and it would have been the perfect opportunity for me to go to one of the places on my travel bucket list. Actually, it’s the #1 place on my travel bucket list!

But it’s not in the cards this year, or rather not in the budget. I’m bummed, but there will be a next time.

My fantasy is sitting in one of the hot springs, looking up at the aurora borealis. That tops my fantasy of even going to Hawaii and trying to learn how to surf, even though the ocean kind of absolutely terrifies me.

If you’ve ever done either of these things, please tell me all about it in detail and show me pictures so I can live through you. (j/k but not really)

How I do “self care”

Self care is a phrase I’ve been hearing lately, and it would seem like a no-brainer — you chill and do the things you like when you need some down time. It helps keep your head steady and your blood pressure down. You have to take care of yourself, so you can do your best in other areas of your life. It’s just something we all do without needing to be reminded, right?

The weird thing is, I forgot about some of the things that really make me happy. Like a few nights ago, I decided to draw something to give to my aunt for Christmas, instead of buying something. I haven’t drawn or painted in years! I actually forgot how happy it made me.

Being a busy adult can feel like it sucks the life out of you. What puts the life back in you? — That’s what self care practices do.

Making things. This is a big one for me. Drawing and painting, most specifically.

Being alone for a while. Being around people and socializing is draining. It’s not anything against people, usually, I just need to get away to recharge.

Wine. Not just any wine will work as well as my fave… it would be the default gift for me if anyone wants to know what I want for Christmas/birthday/no reason at all. It’s called “Off the Tracks” and it’s from a local winery.

Blogging. I’ve been doing this for so long, I just can’t see my life without it.

Writing in my private journal. I dump my thoughts out in it, especially if something is bothering me.

Tea. I love that tea isn’t bad for you — it’s something I love that isn’t unhealthy! It’s something I can actually indulge in, and there are so many different teas to try.

Painting my nails. I like looking down and seeing my nails freshly painted. I just wish would last longer without chipping.

Candles and incense. I like to burn candles that go along with the seasons. Right now I’m burning a mistletoe scented one. I had some nice cone myrrh incense from this Etsy shop.

Taking selfies. I end up taking a bunch of pictures and only keeping a few of what I think are the “good” ones. Then I play with them in my photo apps on my phone and make myself look like the northern lights.

Woohoo! Liebster Award & My Favorite Bloggers

Liebster Award: My Blogger Nominations

Thank you to the sweet and creative Amber Renee from Miseducated for nominating me! I’ve gotten this award a couple times in the past on my old (now gone) blog, and I love knowing people appreciate my blog… especially from bloggers whom I also like!

The deal is this: you answer some questions so new readers can get to know you, and then you nominate other bloggers, so they can hop along and check them out, as well.

If I nominate you, you can fill out the survey and nominate your own favorite bloggers. Don’t feel pressured to participate if you would rather not, or if you simply can’t find the time. I almost couldn’t!

The Questions

1. What made you want to start blogging?

I’ve always loved writing. When I was a kid, I put together books and wrote the stories with my own illustrations. When I was older I started writing in journals and decorating notebooks as a creative outlet. Naturally I was lead to Livejournal in 2001. It’s always been a creative outlet for me. Even if I stopped for a while, I always ended up coming back to it. I’m a huge introvert, so it also helps me meet like-minded people! I work at home and I have a kid, so I don’t really get out much.

2. What is your biggest dream?
To be able to go on lots of far away travel adventures. I want to see all kinds of places, meet different people and try new foods.

3. If money were no object, what would you do all day?
I’d probably be doing a lot more interesting things to blog about. ^.^

4. What is your favorite country or place to visit and why?
Sadly, I haven’t been to many places yet, and the only other country I’ve been to is Canada — Niagara Falls, to be exact. I’ve been to Virginia Beach and that was pretty cool. One of the places I need to see first is New Orleans. The mix of cultures, religions and superstitions in that city seems like something I need to check out. Also, Sedona, Arizona because the natural landscape is breathtaking. I also kind of want to live there.

5. Oops, you’re stranded on an island (with plenty of water & food). What three things would you want with you?
Oops! I must have taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque. I would want an electricity generator with plenty of fuel so I can radio for help. There’s no way I can survive that long without an unlimited supply of electricity and access to WiFi.

6. Name a movie and/or book that you recently watched/read and can highly recommend.
“Unstoppable”. I’m usually not into action movies involving things like runaway trains, but I was freaking out throughout the whole movie. As for a book, “Cold Quiet Country”.

7. What do you collect?
I collect owl figurines and anything with owls on it. I’m also amassing quite the nail polish collection again, and art supplies.

8. What do you do to get “zen”?
I look up good stuff to watch on Netflix and eat something I enjoy. Hanging out with my husband always brings me to a state of inner peace. :D

9. What is the wisest thing someone ever told you?
“Don’t take no wooden nickels.” That’s what my Dad used to say to me whenever a mean kid was bothering me at school. Don’t accept crap from anybody, whether they are treating you bad in any way, or if someone isn’t giving you what you’re worth in the work world. Don’t settle for less than the best, basically.

10. What song do you like to sing out loud?
There are so many. I love to sing! I find myself singing along with Rihanna a lot, namely “Half of Me” and “Take a Bow”.

11. If you could learn something super fast (Matrix-style), what skill would you pick?
Martial arts (any form) or acrobatic pole dancing. I’m not kidding!

Random Facts

1. I’ve had my nose pierced since 2005.
2. I’m really good at imitating voices and animal noises.
3. I taught myself how to swim when I was 12.
4. I have asthma and it’s gotten pretty bad recently, but I’m on a medicine now that’s helping a lot.
5. I suck really bad at volley ball.
6. I met my spirit guide. That’s a whole story for another day.
7. I’ve moved house 7 times since I was 21, and some of those weren’t by choice.
8. I’m good at shading and blending with colored pencils.
9. I used to work at an animal shelter, a green house and a Starbucks. The animal shelter was of course, my favorite out of those.
10. I started working from home in 2009 when I had no other choice.
11. I want to start doing tarot card readings for people as a hobby, after I learn more about the meanings.

The Rules

1. Link back to the person who nominated you.
2. Answer the same 11 questions your nominator answered above.
3. Post 11 random facts about yourself.
4. Pick 11 nominees to answer your 11 questions.
5. You can’t nominate the person who nominated you!
6. Tell your 11 nominees you have nominated them.

My Nominations

1. Karin from Rock Witch
2. Kylie from Everblossom
3. Cassie from Witty Title Here
4. Kandee from Kandee J
5. Akirah from Akirah Robinson
6. Celia from Ceedling
7. Kya from
8. Tara from Tara Nickole
9. Angeliska from Angeliska Gazette
10. Christie from Girl on Canvas
11. Angelica from Whirlwind

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